Realigning Life

Overcommitted

2005-05-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

For the last two weeks, I've been trying to get a grip on my world and not necessarily succeeding at it. I suffer from being interested in too many things, from constantly being overcommitted. For the last two weeks, I've been trying to remedy that.

I've started each day with a prayer asking for focus on what is truly important that day, and have tried to trust in God to provide me with guidance as I go through my day. I've had to concede to defeat (or brokeness) in several cases, cancelling commitments because I just couldn't handle them.

Now that I don't live on soda and adrenline rushes, I can't do as much - and I don't want to. That life is behind me. It wasn't healthy for me or anyone else around me. Now I just need to learn what I can do with my normal everyday energy. It's not an easy task - learning to change behavior - but I'm working on it. One step at a time.

Happy Engagement Anniversary!

2005-04-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

Eleven years ago today, after spending a couple hours driving me all over Rochester Minnesota looking for a tax form, my husband officially proposed to me. Amazing that on a difficult short-tempered day, trying to find forms for income tax returns in two states, he still felt like proposing.

Eleven years, four children, and many challenges and adventures later, he is still here, putting up with my flurries of frantic (or manic) activity. Happy Engagement Anniversary Greg! - and thank you.

A Cup of Inspiration

2005-04-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Hope Wilbank's post yesterday, "10 Ways to Inspire Yourself" has me smiling this morning. This is worth printing and posting on the bulletin board by my desk.

Celebration

2005-04-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

Today I received a letter of celebration from a client. It began "Dear Department of Celebration, I'd like to report the following celebrations I've held:" and then goes on to list all the things she is celebrating in her life. It made me smile - one because it is an example of what she would like to see me do, and because it lightens my heart to hear her celebrations. We are to rejoice, if we look hard enough, even on gloomy difficult days, there is usually something to rejoice and celebrate. I'm off to write my own letter to the "Department of Celebration". What are you celebrating?

Preparing the soil to reap the rewards

2005-04-03T00:15:00.000-08:00

My new garden/flower beds are wonderful! All that black soil waiting for flowers, herbs, and yes - even a few vegetables. But the soil didn't start out black. There was a lot of weeds, grass, and tons of rocks in the way. After the first layer of grass and weeks were removed, a several inches of composted manure was spaded in. Now it is lovely, full of promise. I just need to do my job of planting, weeding, and watering.

Not unlike in my life. In a week of heavy work (three deadlines) and splurges (the garden beds, a movie with the kids, a new office chair for Greg), I must remember that financially and priority-wise I must be diligent in my weeding to ensure none of the old mistakes are repeated.

Lately, it's been on my heart that maybe I should tell our story - of mistakes and overcoming - the struggles and the miracles. I'm still praying on this, but know if you are struggling in the area of finances - know that God is faithful. He does provide our needs. We may not be able to see how we'll pay for food or diapers,or clothes or shoes, or even the roof over our heads, but if it is truly a need and you have even the smallest grain of faith in you, God will ensure your needs are met. I don't just believe this - I know this. We may not always like the answers, and definitely don't always get our wants. But, He promises to fullfill our needs - and does. Just ask and be open to the response.

I don't have to do Everything

2005-03-30T04:42:00.000-08:00

I'm excited this morning that some of my gardening work will be completed! My neighbor has agreed to spend some time planting my rose bushes and digging up the flower beds I'd like to put in. The whole project has been frustrating me because I couldn't get to it. Illness, work, and general busy-ness of day-to-day life with four kids has ended up with a neglected yard. But I have such plans for it. I can see it in my head, just couldn't get to making it happen. There is such prep work needed. My neighbor has beautiful gardens and cares for the local fairgrounds flowers. It is so cool that she has time to help me with this.

My approach to the garden is part of a recent revelation that I don't have to do everything I want myself. That sometimes it is less expensive and more fruitful to hire someoene else to tackle the task. Last week I was able to hire my teenage brother to clean out my car (oh yeah!) and pick-up the spare room that had stuff everywhere. It was some of the best money I have ever spent. The two tasks just made me want to cry because I just couldn't get to them, they were driving me crazy, and I really wanted them done. Not only did they get done, because the spare room was in order again, we were able to convert it this weekend to an office space for my husband, which took care of another issue that was driving me (and him) nuts.

Yes, these things cost me money, but in reality is a fraction of my hourly rate and soothes away huge weights that were adding stress to me and to my household. I was able to focus on the items that I needed to deal with - my family and work - without worrying about how I was ever going to get these things done.

So, by the end of today, my two rose bushes and two azaleas will be planted and the planned flower beds will start to take shape. Oh this is a wonderful thing.

All Things are Possible

2005-03-27T18:28:00.000-08:00

There are many things I'd just rather not do, but need to. And some I'd like to do, but feel I can't, or shouldn't, or don't have time or talent for. Today, this evening, I am reminding myself that "All things are possible through Christ who strenghens me" (Phillipians 4:13). Because - today, this evening, I am once again sitting down to work, when I would really prefer to be sleeping, reading, hanging out with my family, or many other more pleasurable pursuits. But instead, I am writing and trying to get my head into the right mind frame to complete the task in front of me.

It's not that I don't like what I do or my assignment. It's that there are other things I'd prefer to be doing. but alas, I've run out of time and now a deadline is looming (in the morning.) I've contemplated the assignment, made notes on it, re-written it in my head dozens of times, but now comes the final work - of finishing it and submitting it for approval. Ah - maybe that the crux of my challenge - now I must open myself up to failure and success. I must hit my assignment dead on or at least 95%. That is my challenge. I can do this - if I put my mind to it and pray for help, for focus, for insight. I can do this; I just need to do it.

This is an old conversation; one I've had many times with myself - over many things. I must suck up the fear, the insecurities (oh how many of those there are) and focus on what is needed. And listen quietly to what my intuition says to be true. To what I know, without explanation, to be right. If I try to be anything more, it is contrived, and not authentic. I must set aside self. Focus on the need, ask for insight, and tell myself - "I can do this." For this I know to be true - if I ask, Christ will help. If I am willing to listen and obey, all things are possible. This I have seen. This I know for a fact.

I just need to bolster myself and remind myself. I can do this - through He who strengthens me. I can do this.

Quote of the Day
"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."

-Phillipians 4:13

Struggling to be Reasonable

2005-03-24T07:03:00.000-08:00

I can't explain it, but this week I'm off. As I told my husband, I'm struggling to be reasonable when I don't feel reasonable. My filters are not working well this week. Gratefully, my dear husband understands. And because I am communicating with him rather than snapping at him, he's giving me the space and consideration I need to deal with this hazy, nagging, yucky feeling I have over me this week.

I don't want to snap at anyone; I don't want to yell or nag at anyone. But it's there right at the edges and I can't trust my filters to work properly to keep all that negativity neutralized. So the quiet and the peace and the break from humanity is welcome. Through prayer and communication with my husband, maybe I can get through this gunk in my brain without causing anymore hurt feelings and bruised egos than already exist. I can hope...

Quotes of the Day

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."
-Proverbs 21:9

"Better to live in a desert than witha quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife."
- Proverbs 21:19

"He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity."
- Proverbs 21:23

A Lesson Learned: Receiving Guidance

2005-03-18T10:01:00.000-08:00

In recent weeks, I've drifted away from blogging at the beginning of my day, treating it as something that goes after family and life. But what I have discovered is that, in doing so, I've also put aside my time studying God's word and centering my priorities on His alignment.

I use this blog for accountability, and in reality over the last few weeks I have not been very accountable. I've struggled, putting work and kids first again, and have not made as concensious effort to align my days and activities, and thoughts, properly. I need to get back to blogging first thing in the morning, because before I blog each day I reflect in God's word or in an area of my life I'm struggling with. By having this quiet time and accountability, I find myself more centered through the day and have the faith that everything will get done in its proper timing. The panic and anxiety isn't nearly as present, because I'm centered on God's purpose, not on my own.

Yesterday, I recieved two books by Cyndy Salzmann. Eager to get back to God's word in a facilitated manner, I picked up Making your Home a Haven last night and started reading. This morning I looked up one verse, Ephesians 5:8, but in my error, I actually started reading Galations 5 (one book earlier). It turns out as my day has gone on (and this blog entry interrupted), that Galations 5 was exactly what I needed to mediate on this morning. Amazing how God provides guidance exactly when we need it - if we are willing to ask.

A lesson learned.

Quotes of the Day

"It is for freedom that Christ sets us free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

-Galations 5:1

"So I say, live by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."

-Galations 5:16

Returning to Self

2005-03-16T21:20:00.000-08:00

I'm wondering today what it was that caused me to give up the simple pleasures of life. A bowl of grapes, fresh fruit, steamed vegetables, sparkling water mixed with juice, a cup of mocha, handfuls of magazines.

Tonight I sit at the kitchen table enjoying a treat - a large bowl of sweet grapes, vanilla Yopliat custard-style yogurt, and soon a tall glass of ice water. In front of me are three new magazines, fresh from the magazine stand at the grocery store. A few quiet moments allowed me snack on grapes, puruse the magazines as my husband read to my daughter.

In these simple things I am restored, mentally relaxed, and ready to go again. So why did I stop this? Oh yeah, money. It was less expensive to forgo these pleasures, or so it seemed. Now I'm not so sure that the short-term savings was really worth it. I enjoy my fruit and magazines, and my mental and physical health is better for it. And so is my family.

I'm Back!

2005-03-08T23:11:00.000-08:00

For the last few weeks, I've been off attending to life and planning/strategizing on how to deal with the various issues I have - like the condition of my home, my need for an income, how not to yell at the kids during clean up time, and most recently - how to encourage a 15 months old to throw up without freaking out.

Yes, that last one sounds a bit strange. We've ALL been sick. I'm so sick of everyone being sick. Even my husband, who never takes time off for illness, took a day off. But there is a light at the end... Kate is better today; Joshua got through the day with no medicine and the little ones didn't scream nearly as much today.

I took a break from blogging to deal with things at home, to attend to larger matters, to finish a few projects, and start new ones. I still have a backlog; but I also have new possibilities lined up. The most exciting of which is the fact that I'm going to teach a writing class starting in April.

I love (and miss) training and I love writing. This class is designed for non-writers and those with writer's block. I'm calling it "Unlock the Writer within You". It's fun and exciting - though a lot of work right now trying to pull all the materials together in between everything else. But once I've got the materials together, life is good. This feels right. I know that God will send who he wants me to teach to the class. I just have to do the promotion and prepare my side.

I have no quote for today, because quite frankly I've fallen off the bandwagon and need to get realigned with my personal studying. This is what happens when I put other things ahead of God. Time to get realigned again. Draw another line in the sand and start again. My motto.

Good thing I know I'm not perfect. Try Try Again. Oh here's one of my favorites:

Quote of the Day
"Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it."
-L.M. Montgomery in Anne of Green Gables

Weaving Lives Together

2005-02-21T09:46:00.000-08:00

One of the benefits of spending days with young children and running around to activities is that there is a lot of opportunity to roll ideas around, contemplate them, and organize my thoughts. A lot of pre-writing time happens then. Last week, I spent contemplating how to weave my lives together, how to meet my new goals/success measurements.

The master task list concept that Michael Hyatt posted a couple weeks ago is something I've always associated with the business world and is a technique I've used quite successfully. It finally dawned on me (DUH!) that I should incorporate the same technique to my new priorities and focuses. There is no reason why the priniciples that I use in the work world shouldn't be adapted and applied in the personal world. (So I'm a little dense...)

My other big insight for the week is that the only way I'm actually going to accomplish somethings is by taking them in small chunks and then continually work on them. (Coincidently my dear friend Lesley had a similar insight this week.)

Take my websites for instance - they aren't posted yet, because they aren't completed yet - at least to my vision of perfection. In reality, I just need to get them out there and then continue to refine and build upon them. After years of having to submit perfect and complete deliverables, publishing small pieces at a time is a new concept for me.

So, I start a new week drawing another line in the sand and moving forward. The goal is to weave my two lives (personal and professional) together, stay in alignment, and move toward my goals. I can do this.

Quote of the Day

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8

Catch them doing right

2005-02-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

One of the things I'm truly enjoying these days is the ability to catch my children doing right. When they do something wonderful, considerate, friendly, I'm there to see it and comment on it.

My oldest son, Joshua (5), has the sweetest heart, but it is easily crushed and which then manifests anger. Over the last few weeks, he has been struggling with how to be considered a "big boy". We've discussed what that means in our family and in God's word - responsibility, consideration for others, helpfulness, etc. But what is the most effective is to catch him doing right and reinforcing his positive behavior.

But what this also has me asking myself is am I catching myself doing right? In this world I'm creating for myself, I see so many mistakes, so many areas to improve in, am I catching myself doing right? - something to consider.

Quotes of the Day

"Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." -Romans 15:2 NIV

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." -Romans 14:19

Perserverance

2005-02-14T15:01:00.000-08:00

Over the last ten years, my husband and I have shared many ups and downs. Sometimes its easier to remember the downs, but in the quiet moments of reflections, there are plenty of ups to remember too. Not to mention our beautiful children and interesting travels. But the one thing that I admire most about my husband is his perserverance. Through very difficult times, he has perserved with me. Happily Ever After isn't all hearts and flowers. Any married couple can tell you that. But sometimes the only quality that makes a marriage work is perserverance. This valentine's day - if it isn't going so well for you - or - isn't as perfect as you'd like it to be - recognize that the most successful people (and relationships) share one quality - Perserverance.

Quote of the Day

"Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that testing your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4 NIV

Side-lined by sick kids

2005-02-13T12:05:00.000-08:00

For the last two days, I've been wholely focused on family needs. Sick children, choir practice and performance, more sick kids. My blogging thoughts are not organized enough to write - instead I'm being accountable to the priorities. Family before work.

If you'd like to see some of the things we've been up to check out this week's pictures on our homeschool blog.

Hope you and yours are well!

Reminder to Self: Aim for an Organized Morning

2005-02-10T08:38:00.000-08:00

Our morning:

"Okay we all need to recognize that we are GRUMPY this morning, and find a way to not hurt each other. We have a lot to do and one hour to do it in."

"I'm very grumpy mom", chimes in Kate.

"Yes. And Josh is grumpy, Zachary is grumpy, and I'm grumpy. We just need to respect that and get our jobs done without fighting."

"Okay Mom"

And off they go to get ready to go to their activities.

I really need to take heed to the advice in today's quote.

Quote of the Day

"What can and must you do the night before so everyone isn't yelling at each other the next morning...? Know in your heart that everything you do in the night pays huge dividends the next morning."
-Elizabeth George in A Wife After God's Own Heart

Taking time to bring Joy in

2005-02-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

For the last five days, I've been focusing on joy. Late last week it occured to me that the bible mentions joy and rejoicing over and over again. People I admire and try to learn from take time to relax and have joy in their lives. Where was the joy in my life?

Don't get me wrong - I laugh and enjoy my children considerably, but for the last few years I've been caught up in the seriousness and compromise of my life. There was no - or limited - joy in my life, outside my children.

So, I've been contemplating - how can I bring JOY into my life?

Apparently, God is trying to get my attention in this area as well. All of last week I kept picking up a un-read Max Lucado book off my floor (my toddler keeps pulling books of the bookshelf). Finally, I decided to flip it open and read. The chapter I read was contemplating why Jesus would go to a wedding. Mr. Lucado's answer was daring for some - to enjoy himself. Jesus took time to enjoy himself, why shouldn't we? Excellent question.

Building on that thought, I started a class on intuition and logic on Sunday. I go in expecting the conversation to start in on intuition, but instead it begins on the need to have Joy and Wonder in our lives. Okay - I get it!

I need to add more JOY in my life. I need to give myself permission to shed the weight of the past and move forward with a clean slate, full of joy and wonder for this beautiful life we have. Stuff happens, but I don't need to let it weigh me down.

Quote of the Day

"Jesus took time for a party...shouldn't we?"
- Max Lucado in When God Whispers Your Name

Seeking Stillness

2005-02-04T20:39:00.000-08:00

I've been struggling for the last few days with balance. The weight of unfinished projects and trying to figure out how God wants me to use my skills going forward has been heavy. As a corporate business technology writer, my work has been fed to me, at an overwhelming pace, for the last few years. Now freed of such an overwhelming workload, I'm faced with opportunity and the need to find the path that God wants me to go down. There are so many options, I'm not sure where I should focus.

For now, my plate is full with three projects that need completing. One of which is months past due - a problem that I despise. Usually I'd rather forgo all sleep than to miss a deadline. But as the client would say - I made other choices. I really must finish up these projects and find stillness. Somewhere in the stillness, I will hear His direction and find my path.

Quote of the Day
"Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight." -Psalm 119:32 NIV

Learning from Others

2005-02-03T09:32:00.000-08:00

I'm a big believer in learning from others. Whatever the topic,I tend to dive in, research and read everything I can find useful on the subject. Over the years, I've literally read dozens, if not hundreds, of books and articles on writing, parenting, communication, and leadership. Whatever I felt I needed to improve in, I find something read on it. Periodically, I'm blessed to work with or meet individuals that I can learn from by watching, observing, and listening.

The wonderful thing about this world of blogging is that it is yet another source of material to learn from - how else would I ever get insights like this from an editor, or advice from the CEO of a publishing house (and best-selling author), or learn more of the writing life from those who have gone before me.

The same goes for those women who are balancing this act of writing with life as a wife, mother, and keeper of the home. Thanks to the internet, I'm learning from Hope, Beth, Angela, and Lori.

It constantly amazes me how generous people are with their time and insights. Through these resources and the many other sources I read, I can improve and grow. I hope I never stop growing, there is so much to learn.

Keeping Focused

2005-02-02T04:55:00.000-08:00

This week I have three work projects on my plate, with deadlines looming. But in trying to maintain a balanced life, I am need to not get stressed over it. I know everything always works out. And I know if I stay focused on His will and His priorities, I will accomplish what it is on my plate to accomplish - in the perfect timing. This is what I must focus on.

Quote of the Day
"If any of you lacks wisedom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him."
- James 1:5 NIV

Creating a Haven - One Step at a Time

2005-02-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

The concept that a home can be inviting, comfortable, a place where stress and worries melt away when you walk in the door, first hit me a few years ago. I went over to a co-workers house and instantly felt everything melt away. She turned her home into a haven.

It was such a shock to walk back into the stark contrast of my own home that day. Over the years, whenever I’m in a home that felt inviting and pretty, I’ve tried to figure out what touches make the difference – it’s not the furniture or the beautiful things, but instead the small personal touches (and lack of clutter).

Recently I read a article by Beth Dargis on how to make your bedroom a haven. What a thought! My bedroom is stacked with boxes to be sorted. Oh but the idea!

So I’ve set out once again to create pretty spaces, to make our home more inviting and comfortable for others to visit and for my husband to come home to. I may not be able to control how the others in my household adhere to attempts to organize and de-clutter, but I can at least create pockets of pretty spaces. After all a journey is not made in leaps, but one step at a time.

>>>>Quotes of the Day>>>>

“The wise woman builds her house but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” – Proverbs 14:1 NIV

“In the stillness we can bring out that which we think we are too busy to experience.” – Kathy Srabian, intuitive consultant

The Balancing Act

2005-01-31T21:18:00.000-08:00

It strikes me today that I miss focusing on business and technology. For the last few weeks, I've been focusing on all the other areas of my life that I need to learn and grow in. I've neglected the area that I've excelled in over the last few years.

Part of balance is finding a way to integrate what I enjoy from my old life with what I enjoy and want to pursue in my new life.

Part of being emotionally healthy is not to sacrifice any one of the various aspects of my personality, interests, and beliefs. That is what caused the problem in the first place - I swung so far into my job and work and sacrificed so much of what I wanted for my family and personal life.

As I look at my success principles - the ones I figured out last week - I realize that I must make progress against the whole, not just one or two.

Break things into chunks, create a map, a path, of how to create success in these areas, but be sure to include each of the areas. Because if I swing too far into one, the others will suffer. Success in a balanced life will only come if I consider all the aspects.

>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
"'Sharpen the Saw' is preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have - you. It's renewing the four dimensions of your nature -- physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional."
- Stephen Covey in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

From Explosive to Calm

2005-01-28T16:19:00.000-08:00

By 6am it was evident that my plans for the day were not going to work. By 8, I pretty much had determined that the kids and I were not fit for spending the day with others - far too explosive. So much for knitting and breadmaking.

But, despite my expectations, today has been wonderful. Kate had an invite to visit a friend - the one she likes to do quiet imaginative play with, so she finished her homework in record time and has spent the day with another girl instead in the company of her brothers.

Josh considers this "the best day ever" because Kate isn't here to boss him around - and he has gotten three hours of one-on-one time with me - including cooking brownies and making play dough. Three of his favorite activities are cooking, eating chocolate, and playing with play dough.

Zachary happily practiced his knife skills with playdough and sprayed water from a squirt bottle outside.

Esther got to play with measuring spoons and a bowl full of dry rice.

And I got a nice quiet, comfortable day at home. Even had time to update the blogs, investigate some markets, and work on a new book idea.

Wow.

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
"You are my Lamp O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light."
- 2 Samuel 22:29

A Day of Positive Association

2005-01-27T20:29:00.000-08:00

Who we associate with often makes a huge impact on how we live our days and the choices we perceive we can make. Today, as I spent the day driving my kids from one activity to the next, I appreciate this.

As a parent, the activities we went to - swimming lessons, play group, and Karate, put my oldest daughter in association with positive, friendly, caring friends - and put me around other moms whose company I enjoy and women I admire.

As a person, I notice the difference from associating with others in my former job and those I now associate with as a person and as a freelancer. The weight, the worries, the conversation are all different. Today, I am happy with my association - it feels - pleasant, calming, slower.

Even though I'm tired and really just want to sleep for a while, I don't feel strung out and exhausted. Just in need of recovering from a short night.

Just think - tomorrow I get to go spend a few hours with other ladies making bread and learning to crochet, while my children with theirs how learn to churn butter. Amazing.

>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
"Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company."
- Booker T. Washington

Re-defining Success

2005-01-26T08:35:00.000-08:00

Last night, I took time to pick up a Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks and sit with my journal - a rare, luxurious treat. In doing so, I found myself realizing that I need to re-define success.

My world has changed. How will I feel successful in this new reality? Sucess is subjective; it means different things to different people. For me, my old definition of success just doesn't apply anymore.

What do I consider success?

I realized that I really need to break my definition down by role or priority. How do I define success:
- as a wife?
- as a parent?
- as a homemaker?
- as a writer?
- as a person?

The exercise proved fruitful and centering. I now feel like I have a clear vision of where I want to be in these roles and life priorities. With a clear vision, now I can move toward them, rather than stumble around, grasping at too many things.

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
"Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough."
- Og Mandino in The Greatest Salesman in the World

Not Perfect, but moving forward

2005-01-25T15:57:00.000-08:00

This morning, instead of immediately coming to the computer and blogging my entry, I needed to take action instead - and blog later.

As I looked around the room, five baskets of laundry to fold, kids who needed to get breakfast and school work done, and a husband who was looking for a pair of blue socks (in the baskets of laundry.) The better use of my time was to be accountable to my priorities, rather than write about being accountable. So that is what I did.

And now, at 4pm, as I prepare to go off to a board meeting and then back to work, I feel good. I know I have done something to move my priorities forward. It's not perfect yet. But as I told my daughter today, no one is perfect. What matters is that we recognize that, allow ourselves to make mistakes, and practice so we get better.

Holding My Tongue

2005-01-24T08:49:00.000-08:00

This morning I'm operating on only three hours sleep and those around me are experiencing it. I must take extra effort today to hold my tongue and keep my filters intact. How can I expect my children to learn to install their own filters, if I'm not able to keep mine in place?

Filters are what I refer to as a visual image to remind us that everything we think does not need to be said. I've been working with the older two kids with this mental image so they know they don't need to yell or say mean things. The image I used with Kate is the strainer we use to make her noodles. Imagine a pot of hot water and cooked noodles. We need to get out the noodles (the good stuff), so we pour it through a strainer (filter). All the hot water goes down the drain, while we are left with the noodles (Yummy!).

This is the image I must keep in mind today as my filters are weak when I have little sleep. No one needs me to have a sharp tongue. It helps no one.

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
"A man who lacks judgement derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue." - Proverbs 11:12 NIV

Cooking with Kids

2005-01-24T04:30:00.000-08:00

Greg asked me today to start a new blog - one about that journals our adventures in finding and trying out convenience cooking recipes. Since cooking is a family affair at our house, he thought it would be fun to go back and read our experiences with various make-your-own mix, crock pot, and make/freeze-ahead recipes. If you are interested, please join us by commenting or sharing your own experiences.

Contributing Financially

2005-01-23T19:52:00.000-08:00

For the last few weeks, I’ve been studying A Wife after God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George. One idea she presents is that as wives we contribute greatly to our husbands and household budgets by being wise, thrifty, and diligent in managing our home.

How true this is – and how easy it is for me to forget it.

For nearly two years, we lived on my income, while my husband managed the home and the kids. When he would get upset over not being the “provider”, I’d remind him how much he was providing for us. We weren’t paying child care for 4 kids. He was cooking our meals, often from scratch, and doing the household chores (much better than I!). He was saving us thousands each month! And – he was eliminating huge child care related stresses that I would have otherwise had to deal with, making it much easier for me to work.

So in realigning my life, I need to remember this. Especially when I am stressing over how to meet the income requirements he asked me to meet as a freelancer. I can contribute not only monetarily but also in savings. I need to look at how I am spending my time and determine if it is better to spend the time savings us money or earning us money.

For example, I can have fun spending time with the kids making convenience foods (mixes, frozen meals, etc) or I can spend energy working (which causes to us to use store-bought convenience foods or eat out more). There is a balance to find here too.

>>>>Quotes of the Day>>>>
“You contribute even more by heartily supporting your husband…as he puts forth the effort and hours – to do his part in providing for your family” – Elizabeth George in A Wife after God’s Own Heart

“You contribute much to your husband by the wise, thrifty diligent management and oversight of your part of the household budget…”
- Elizabeth George in A Wife after God’s Own Heart

Supporting Our Husbands

2005-01-21T10:49:00.000-08:00

I am touched and humbled this morning by Hope Wilbank’s post yesterday. As a mother, my heart breaks for her daughter. My own five year old is fascinated by soldiers and war and as a mother I dread the possibility that he will one day decide to join the military, but I will honor and respect him if that is a choice he makes. We spend a lot of time in our family discussing freedom, responsibility, and sacrifice. Our soldiers all over the world deserve our respect. And our soldier’s families need our support.

Hope’s post reminds me more how fortunate I am. I take my husband and all he does for us for granted far too often. In realigning my life, I must make more of an effort to honor and edify him – to show appreciation and build him up - especially in front of the children and others.

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” – Proverbs 31:12

Non-Judgemental and Non-worrisome

2005-01-20T05:02:00.000-08:00

Again, 5 am and I'm up to work - ahead of my family, trying not to stress over work and trying not to judge others. I do not know what I do not know. This I must remember. Each person has their own perspective of reality and brings that perspective to every situation. The bible tells me not to be judgemental and not to worry. Instead I must focus on what is within me, and what is important to create excellence in all areas of my life - to remain prayerful and in alignment. This is where I must focus...

>>>>Quotes of the Day>>>>
"Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you" - 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

"In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path." - Proverbs 3:6 (NIV)

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ' Let me take thespeck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye. You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.'" - Matthew 7:3-4 (NIV)

And because it bears repeating today - and everyday until I get it ingrained:
"It makes a big difference in our lives and days when we stop paying attention to distractions and choose the actions that reflect our desires and goals." - Kathy Srabian, intuitive consultant

Celebrating Success

2005-01-19T21:52:00.000-08:00

I love to watch others accomplish their goals – maybe that’s why I love parenting and writing so much. I get to be a part of that – get to celebrate the success of others and encourage others. Yesterday I found out that Mother Devoted launched – I’ve been looking forward to this new resource to learn from – And I do have much to learn!

Also, I’m excited this week to “meet” Lori and enjoy her blog Keeping the Home – already I’ve learned much from her articles. And I can’t wait to try out her Oatmeal Milk Bath recipe.

It constantly amazes me how people are placed in my life just at the time I need to meet them, whether I realize it or not. Thank you to those who are praying for me, helping me be accountable, and sharing with me the lessons I need to learn to meet my own goals. Your time is valuable, thank you for sharing it!

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”
- Hebrews 13:2 (NIV)

Self-Talk

2005-01-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

My oldest daughter, Kate, loves to draw and is constantly pronouncing herself a “good artist”. But yesterday, she contradicted herself.

In the morning she was coloring in a detailed picture of an African woman that she had drawn, lamenting on how she likes to draw and is "such a good artist". Then an hour later she was telling her supervising teacher that she “wasn’t a good artist” .

Huh! That got my attention!

I called Kate on her remark – It wasn’t acceptable – what comes out of our mouths and is in our heads then becomes reality. In Kate’s case, she didn’t want the pressure of drawing something new with someone watching (she likes to draw in private or during art class without the pressure of someone hovering.)

After the incident was over, and Kate is back to pronouncing herself a “good artist” I realized I do the same thing. I’m constantly giving my self questioning self-talk about writing, about home-making, about how I manage my time, or the organization (or lack of it) in my home.

Self talk is powerful. Overtime we begin to believe what we hear – regardless of whether it is rooted in truth. And, our internal voices are just as powerful as the spoken voice – because we hear it more than any other voice. I must install an internal filter to overwrite any of this questioning or negative self-talk with something positive, or at least neutralizing. After all, only I can make the decision to change. No one else can do it for me.

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
“Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.”
-Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Accountibility and Responsibility

2005-01-18T05:05:00.000-08:00

It is five am on aTuesday and I am up, ahead of my family, to work. Because I didn't do my work yesterday. It is I that must hold myself accountable to my priorities and not continue to impact my family with my work. And I ask you to hold me accountable as well. Finding balance is about putting what is important first and balancing that with the responsibilities of life (in my case, working).

Working is not an option for me. It is something I must do. Gratefully, I enjoy my work. But it pulls at me and pulls me away from my family - but only because I allow it to. In my perfect new world, I will find a way to integrate my work with my family priorities. But for now, I work at the work that God has provided for me. For it is indeed He who has provided for my family. I must not let the pleasurable distractions pull me away from what is truly important - alignment in God's priorities and excellence in everything I do. But how to find that balance - Oh this is a struggle for me.

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
"It makes a big difference in our lives and days when we stop paying attention to distractions and choose the actions that reflect our desires and goals."
- Kathy Srabian, intuitive consultant

God's Gifts - Part 2

2005-01-17T08:52:00.000-08:00

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>

"We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesizing, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve. If it is teaching, let him teach. If it is encouraging let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously. If it is leadership, let him govern diligently. If it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."
- Romans 12: 6-8 NIV

God's Gifts - Part 1

2005-01-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

"Zachary is better than I am, " my five-year-old cried, reacting to his sister praising his two-year-old brother for counting.

"No. Zachary is different than you are," I reminded him. "God made you different than Zachary. He made each of us different and has a special purpose for each of us. You can do things that Zachary can't do, just as Kate can do things you can't do. We all have our own special gifts."

This conversation was one of many Joshua and I have had on this subject. But it was also one of several events this weekend, where I was indeed reminded that we do all have special gifts. The bible specifically reminds us to that we are all created unique and should not consider ourselves better than another. (Romans 12)

I must remember that with the various gifts that I have, not only did He intend for me to use them, but also to apply them to His purpose and within His ordained alignment. This is the challenge I must look at each day. Am I serving Him or man with my gifts? And along the same thought, am I using the gifts he gave me or hiding from them for fear?

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
"For do I now persuade men or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ"
-Galations 1:10 NIV

Focusing on what's important

2005-01-15T10:08:00.000-08:00

I am interested in too many things! I keep overcommitting myself with little downtime. This is an issue I need to address - or maybe a habit that needs a new habit overlaid. Either way, I must find a way to say 'No' to the interesting and focus on what is important. Right now, keeping myself in alignment is my priority. It is what is important. This I must remember.

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
"We must say 'No' not only to things which are wrong and sinful, but to things pleasant, profitable, and good which would hinder and clog our grand duties and our chief work."
- Elizabeth George in her book, A Woman after God's Own Heart.

A New Beginning

2005-01-14T17:09:00.000-08:00

This journey began in earnest a month ago - when I fully committed to re-aligning my life - to put God, spouse, family, and home before work. A very novel approach - for me. For the last few years, work has come first, with kids a close second. There's been absolutely very little left for my husband and nothing left for myself or anything else. I was burnt out, exhausted and ill.

Today, I am healthier, lighter in spirit, and easier to deal with. But this is a struggle. I must constantly remind myself of my new priorities. This blog will serve as my accountability journal - a commitment - to myself, to those around me, and to those who are like me.

>>>>Quote of the Day>>>>
'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will. ' - Romans 12:2 NIV